| Wednesday, August 02, 2006 |
| Let's play catch... or is it catch up? |
Ah, well I suppose I should be posting something meaningful since this is my first post in a really long while, but I thnik my brain's too fried from finishing upour markser paper due this friday to think up anything worthwhile so this'll just be me ranting and rambling until I get the urge to go back to writing the paper....
Do you know what it feels like when things suddenly get out of control? One moment you're fine, feeling like you can handle everything life throws at you, but as if that thing called 'life' (whatever that is) heard your boast, it dusts off that old gatling gun it had lying in the 'ol closet and starts firing for the heck of it and you find yourself frantically trying to catch the pieces hurled your way very much like cartoon characters do whenever they're carrying something breakable and they trip. You're jumping left and right trying to keep from tripping all over yourself 'coz you know that once you trip it's all over and you'll wake up neck deep in the shattered pieces of whatever it was 'life' decided to hurl your way. The realization that things are a tad out of control (just a tad 'coz it'll all be over once you admit that everything's gone to heck) washes over you like someone dumping a pailful of ice cold water and for just one moment, one tiny little instant, you feel like giving up, dropping everything, just standing still and not try to dodge or scramble after and just letting everything fall and shatter to a tiny million pieces and if you're unlucky, you'll still be around to pick up the pieces and try to piece them together, but maybe that's better than losing your sanity trying to keep them from shattering in the first place. But then what would 'others' think if you let even one piece shatter...no, you have to tough it out. So the feeling passes and you're back catching the next piece hurtling your way, placing it somewhere safe. It's a little cracked from the wild save, but it's still whole so everything's OK. So what if you're left with a million damaged pieces. You can do something to hide the cracks. No one ever really pays that close attention. A million fractured pieces but at least they're not shattered beyond repair. No one has to know. As long as you don't sit and stare hard, you won't even notice yourself.... everything's good... that thing called 'life' has to slow down sometime so you just have to do your best until that lull finally comes along and you can finally ease off a bit and let the tension drain... for now, you concentrate on trying to keep things from shattering beyond repair....
Eh? Seems like I was in a bit of an introspective mood. LOL but, I'm feeling much better now so it's time to get back to work. |
posted by Samantha @ 8:35 AM
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